The Birds and the Bees
by Asiantastic
Summary: Hope asks the gang where do babies came from


**The birds and the bees:**

_Hope asks the gang where do babies come from. _

_**AUTHOR: Yeah, this is the first story that I ever written for fanfiction. I know, I know, I have bad grammar, so don't go all grammar Nazi on me. But please do not read this story if you don't know where babies come from. **_

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The gang was eating dinner together by the campfire. Everything was going great until...

**Hope**: Hey you guys, where do babies come from?

Everyone froze

**Hope**: What's wrong?

**Fang**: Um...what did you say Hope?

**Hope**: I asked, where do babies come from?

Everyone gave each other worried glances.

**Snow**: I know! Lightning will tell you!

Lightning smacked Snow on the head.

**Lightning**: No I won't!

**Hope**: What's the big deal? What is sex?

Everyone started to choke on their roasted behemoth.

**Fan**g: Um...Hope, maybe your father could tell you this when your older-

**Hope**: But I wanna know NOW!

**Vanille**: Don't worry Hope! I'll tell you! I'll even teach you some of the moves!

**Lightning+Snow+Fang**: NO!

**Lightning**: Ugh, fine! I'll tell you Hope!

Hope nodded his head attentively as Fang and Snow started to laugh.

**Lightning**: I'll tell you by using Fang and Snow!

**Fang and Snow**: WHAT?!

**Lightning**: Aw, C'mon! It'll be easier for Hope to understand. Are you ready Hope?

Hope nodded and took out his glasses, a notepad, and a pen.

**Lightning**: Alright! So let's say that Fang got wasted at a club and met a pimp named Snow. They started to grind with each other and-

**Hope:** Whoa wait stop! What's grinding?

**Lightning**: Grinding is when...hmm...I know! Let's have Fang and Snow show you what grinding is!

Fang and Snow gave each other worried glances.

**Lightning**: C'mon now! Hope needs to have his sex facts right!

Fang and Snow stood up, and awkwardly started to grind with each other.

**Hope**: I don't get it, she's just moving her butt against Snow...

**Lightning**: Tsk tsk tsk! You guys call yourself grinders? Do it more better!

Fang and Snow cheeks started to turn red as they grinded faster.

**Lightning**: Alright! No after the grinding, Fang decided to give Snow a blowjob-

**Hope**: What's a blow job?

**Lightning**: Oh, don't worry, Fang can-

**Fang**: There is no way that I'm showing Hope what a blowjob is with Snow!

**Snow**: Aw, c'mon Fang! A kid gotta learn-

**Fang:** NO!

**Hope**: Aw c'mon! I wanna see! Give me a blow job Fang!

**Lightning**: Hope don't say that!

**Snow**: Psh, Fang probably doesn't know what a blowjob is because she's busy scissoring girls!

**Fang:** I do not! That was only once!

**Hope**: What's scissoring? O.o

**Lightning:** Guys calm down! Please! I'm trying to teach Hope about sex!

**Fang:** Well you don't have to give him a visualization using me-

**Hope**: Fang! You cut other girls with scissors???

**Lightning:** No Hope, that's not what-

**Snow:** YES! That's what scissoring is! Fang LOVES cutting girls with scissors!

**Hope:** Fang how could you? D:

**Fang:** Hope that's not what scissoring is! It's when-

**Lightning**: Fang I don't think that Hope would understand! Quick! Scissor with Vanille!

**Fang:** What!? Are you out of your mind -

**Snow:** YES! Go scissor with Vanille, Fang!

**Hope:** *Gasp* Fang don't cut Vanille with scissors!

**Lightning:** Hope calm down, she doesn't cut Vanille, she-

**Snow:** Yeah she does! Cause she's an emo freak!

**Fang:** Uh, I kinda don't wanna show him what scissoring is, really.

**Vanille:** C'mon Fang, lets scissor like what we did back in Oerba-

**Fang:** No! Why can't he just google it-?

**Lightning:** Guys shut up! Your ruining my lesson!

Sazh came out from his tent looking confused as he saw everyone arguing with each other. Sazh sighed and tapped Hope on the shoulder.

**Sazh**: What's going on?

**Hope:** Oh, everyone is fighting with each other about teaching me about what sex is...

**Sazh:** *sigh* son, do you really want to know?

**Hope:** *grins* Actually I already do know. I just wanted to see what their reaction would be :D

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**The end :)**


End file.
